There’s something that’s been on my mind for a while now. I’ve been struggling with the emotions and trying to piece together the words that accurately express my thoughts. What I want to talk about about is relationships 2.0, and how they can go wrong. The reason I’ve been apprehensive about sharing is because for one, it’s something that isn’t talked about often. However, there are always two sides to every coin, so I think it’s only fair the address the untoward aspects of relationships that are formed via social networks.
At some point last week, I read a brilliant post by Brian Solis. It put together my thoughts so eloquently. It touched on two aspects which in my opinion, are the biggest setbacks in social media. For one, that “unknowingly, we're grooming a new generation of status-fueled socialites.” Solis also shares a fantastic quote by Deb Schultz "Technology changes, people don't."
Technology changes everyday. There is always a new gadget or service to try out. Tech is ever evolving, but I fear human nature is persistent, and transcends and shines through in our online life as well. Great people will be just that, no matter where you connect. There will always be gems that stand out in the stream. The same is true of those who possess character traits that are not so appealing. Jealousy can be seen online, insecurities become evident, as do narcissistic tendencies.
The anonymity of the internet allows people to let their worst come out. You can find too many people who have agendas and just want to evangelize. Too many podcast network and com
munity leaders who rarely spend anytime in those communities. Then there’s the gurus, advertisers and spammers. In short there are all sorts of people who behave in ways they never so blatantly exhibit offline.
It is a lot easier to hide behind a computer screen and not realize the power of your words. How there are people on the other side of that screen, made of flesh and bone, with palpable feelings. It is almost effortless for some to attempt to vilify someone without really knowing all the facts. The more deeply we care about something, the more we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, the more susceptible we are to being betrayed or hurt by these types of behavior.
I am a believer in new media. Not only for my clients, but myself. It has brought so many wonderful people into my life. Thanks to twitter, plurk and others I have formed lifelong friendships> Bona fide connections that have profoundly enriched my life. As time elapses and I interact more intensely in these networks ,a lot of the same situations faced with in my offline life found their way online.
Friendship is giving, honestly and earnestly. Friendship is respecting one another. The most beautiful thing is to discover little nuggets of a friend’s character. Learning their likes, dislikes, discovering their expressions and mannerism, what makes them tick. It is with those little gifts like that we can create a friendship, New media allows us to share in 140 characters who we are. If you look at someone’s twitter timeline or plurk profile, it’s a glimpse into who they are, and what’s going on in their life. Quickly replying to facebook status messages also allows us foster those relationships further.
We can have all these different services notify our phones, even have desktop clients. We are constantly connected, and at times the data stream can be overwhelming. That’s were the perfect world of web 2.o begins to crumble. We can update every single service, in essence sharing who we are. If you’re doing it well, you’re responding to those who are seeking to connect with you. But I pose a question ... are we just getting lazy and taking building relationships for granted?
I’m not naive, I don’t have the expectation that every @ reply is going to result in finding your new best friend. Yet it is undeniable that relationships of any kind require work. If someone tweets about a favorite band, a tv show, or favorite meal, that common interest might pique your attention, and it certainly is a wonderful start to a potential connection. But if you don’t get a chance to talk about the back stories behind those statements, they become trivial information you probably won’t recall further down the line anyway. What do you have then besides a nice acquaintance?
If we don’t push forward and and delve deeper by making a more private connection through a Direct Message, Private Plurk or any other medium we are limiting ourselves to superficial interaction. There are some people in your timelines that stand out, those who you wanna learn more about. When we connect with people, it is only human nature to want to learn more. We seek the company of those who enrich our lives. The natural progression I have seen is getting off the websites and interacting via im, later on progressing to voice chats and further down the line exchanging phone numbers and ideally getting to spend time together in person.
Facebook, Twitter, Plurk and all the other social networks are fantastic ways to keep the banter going, to keep in touch, and to develop friendships ... but a friendship cannot live exclusive on these services. Nothing can compete with phone calls that last hours, with hanging out, with listening to those favorite tunes, watching tv with, or sharing your favorite meal with a friend. Making memories together is something that just can’t be shrunk into 140 characters. Lord knows we try when sharing :)
I want to reiterate, I’m not saying you need to seek out every person on your follower list. I’m not suggesting you should only interact privately, nor am I saying that you should share your phone number or screen names indiscriminately. That’s would be irresponsible, and counterproductive. What I hope you guys get out of this is that you shouldn’t take people for granted. Don’t neglect doing the heavy lifting that it takes to have a relationship. Don’t let yourself be limited by 140 characters. Direct Message, Private Plurk ... IM each other ... chat on the phone ... and if geography isn’t against you ... MEET.
What’s the point of being in social networks if it isn’t to be sociable and to make connections?
What do YOU think?? Leave it in the comments. I’d love to hear some of your adventures in relationships 2.0.
At some point last week, I read a brilliant post by Brian Solis. It put together my thoughts so eloquently. It touched on two aspects which in my opinion, are the biggest setbacks in social media. For one, that “unknowingly, we're grooming a new generation of status-fueled socialites.” Solis also shares a fantastic quote by Deb Schultz "Technology changes, people don't."
Technology changes everyday. There is always a new gadget or service to try out. Tech is ever evolving, but I fear human nature is persistent, and transcends and shines through in our online life as well. Great people will be just that, no matter where you connect. There will always be gems that stand out in the stream. The same is true of those who possess character traits that are not so appealing. Jealousy can be seen online, insecurities become evident, as do narcissistic tendencies.
The anonymity of the internet allows people to let their worst come out. You can find too many people who have agendas and just want to evangelize. Too many podcast network and com
munity leaders who rarely spend anytime in those communities. Then there’s the gurus, advertisers and spammers. In short there are all sorts of people who behave in ways they never so blatantly exhibit offline.It is a lot easier to hide behind a computer screen and not realize the power of your words. How there are people on the other side of that screen, made of flesh and bone, with palpable feelings. It is almost effortless for some to attempt to vilify someone without really knowing all the facts. The more deeply we care about something, the more we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, the more susceptible we are to being betrayed or hurt by these types of behavior.
I am a believer in new media. Not only for my clients, but myself. It has brought so many wonderful people into my life. Thanks to twitter, plurk and others I have formed lifelong friendships> Bona fide connections that have profoundly enriched my life. As time elapses and I interact more intensely in these networks ,a lot of the same situations faced with in my offline life found their way online.
Friendship is giving, honestly and earnestly. Friendship is respecting one another. The most beautiful thing is to discover little nuggets of a friend’s character. Learning their likes, dislikes, discovering their expressions and mannerism, what makes them tick. It is with those little gifts like that we can create a friendship, New media allows us to share in 140 characters who we are. If you look at someone’s twitter timeline or plurk profile, it’s a glimpse into who they are, and what’s going on in their life. Quickly replying to facebook status messages also allows us foster those relationships further.
We can have all these different services notify our phones, even have desktop clients. We are constantly connected, and at times the data stream can be overwhelming. That’s were the perfect world of web 2.o begins to crumble. We can update every single service, in essence sharing who we are. If you’re doing it well, you’re responding to those who are seeking to connect with you. But I pose a question ... are we just getting lazy and taking building relationships for granted?
I’m not naive, I don’t have the expectation that every @ reply is going to result in finding your new best friend. Yet it is undeniable that relationships of any kind require work. If someone tweets about a favorite band, a tv show, or favorite meal, that common interest might pique your attention, and it certainly is a wonderful start to a potential connection. But if you don’t get a chance to talk about the back stories behind those statements, they become trivial information you probably won’t recall further down the line anyway. What do you have then besides a nice acquaintance?
If we don’t push forward and and delve deeper by making a more private connection through a Direct Message, Private Plurk or any other medium we are limiting ourselves to superficial interaction. There are some people in your timelines that stand out, those who you wanna learn more about. When we connect with people, it is only human nature to want to learn more. We seek the company of those who enrich our lives. The natural progression I have seen is getting off the websites and interacting via im, later on progressing to voice chats and further down the line exchanging phone numbers and ideally getting to spend time together in person.
Facebook, Twitter, Plurk and all the other social networks are fantastic ways to keep the banter going, to keep in touch, and to develop friendships ... but a friendship cannot live exclusive on these services. Nothing can compete with phone calls that last hours, with hanging out, with listening to those favorite tunes, watching tv with, or sharing your favorite meal with a friend. Making memories together is something that just can’t be shrunk into 140 characters. Lord knows we try when sharing :)
I want to reiterate, I’m not saying you need to seek out every person on your follower list. I’m not suggesting you should only interact privately, nor am I saying that you should share your phone number or screen names indiscriminately. That’s would be irresponsible, and counterproductive. What I hope you guys get out of this is that you shouldn’t take people for granted. Don’t neglect doing the heavy lifting that it takes to have a relationship. Don’t let yourself be limited by 140 characters. Direct Message, Private Plurk ... IM each other ... chat on the phone ... and if geography isn’t against you ... MEET.
What’s the point of being in social networks if it isn’t to be sociable and to make connections?
What do YOU think?? Leave it in the comments. I’d love to hear some of your adventures in relationships 2.0.
