Life doesn't have a do-over button.

I always find Chris Brogan’s commentary to be spot on, to be insightful and always compelling. I was listening to Chris Brogan’s new book Personal Branding in the audio format recorded by Rob Blatt. Although the main focus of his book was personal branding, something he wrote towards the end was what impacted me the most.

“Life doesnʼt have a do-over button, and you learn really quickly who gets mired in the past and whoʼs focused on making the experience of the present and future better”

If you know anything about me, you know I’m a sucker for a good quote. Not only is that a fabulous quote, but it made me take a second to evaluate just how this fits into my life and thinking at this very moment. These past couple of months have been filled with a lot of personal challenges and some great victories. While I do not regret any the decisions that have brought me to these crossroads, I can’t help but take a second to appreciate how being in a transitional period of any kind can serve as a great litmus test for any relationship. You realize who is genuinely there for you, who is there only superficially, and often are surprised to find support, love, and encouragement where you least expect it.

I am in no way perfect. There are things about myself that I am making a conscious effort to change. It is uncanny how Brogan’s quote covers the two most challenging aspects I am seeking to change. I want to focus less on the past. I don’t hold on to the past with resentment, that’s not how I’m built, but I often overanalyze things in the past as some sort of precedent.

I have an uncanny memory, and sometimes I surprise myself with what I recall. What I want to do is to shift my focus, not ignoring the lessons of the past, but remembering that they are behind me. That people change, life itself changes, and that I should enjoy right now for the gift that it is. They don’t call it the present for nothing right? As far as the future, it’s still unwritten, and I have a lot of great ideas and goals that will be my crayons to write all over it! I might even doodle outside the lines!

Besides disappointing others, my biggest fear is to be hurt. To be let down by someone I let in. While I am very outgoing and social, there are very few people whom I share the most intimate details of my life. Even with them, it’s a struggle for me. For one, I don’t like to make things about me. My first instinct is to be there for my friends, not to seek them being there for me. It’s easier for me internalize things, digest them, and once I have an assessment or a handle on the situation, I am more apt to share.

Perhaps this is my way of claiming authority over a situation I have truly have no control over. Its hard for me to verbalize that something is bothering me, or that something is just not right in my little world until I have had some time to process it. My huge problem with this defense mechanism of mine is that often, my friends who know me well enough, can pick on my slight behavior changes and realize something is wrong. I hate that when I get in my deep thought and hermit mode, I am alienating them, when they are seeking me out to be there for me because they love me.

I don’t ever want my friends to feel that I don’t appreciate their concern, or think that I don’t trust them enough to tell them what is going on. I am making a concerted effort to be more open, or at least help my friends fill the puzzle pieces in my head a lot faster. Chris Brogan’s quote reminds me to move on, and to appreciate the amazing people,whom I love dearly, that are here to support me in whatever crisis I may have. Those who with their friendship and affection make my present better, and are the biggest supporters of the extraordinary things my future holds. So there you have it. It’s on the blog, on the interwebs, so my dear friends, I give you full permission to call me out on bs if you see me obsessing or analyzing the past, or going into hermit mode. After all we could all use a little accountability!

I challenge you to right now go appreciate those who make your present better !!